That's why I call them the Goondits

The Buffalo Goondits are in town on Friday night for the Rock's final home game of the season. Tickets, I'm told, are going fast and this one is not on TV.


Some might wonder, why do you call the Buffalo Bandits the "Buffalo Goondits?" Well the answer should be obvious enough given that they routinely lead the National Lacrosse League in penalty minutes. But let's dig a little deeper into the pattern of behaviour.

Darris Kilgour Lacrosse has a set of basic rules regarding when and why to punish an opposing player with a cross-check, slash or hack (for those who've never seen lacrosse, most of this can be done legally).

1. When the opponent scores;
2. When the opponent shoots;
3. When the opponent has the ball in a scoring area (rough estimates for the size of the scoring area go from within the Goondit's restraining line to within the Goondit's half);
4. When the opponent has the ball;
5. When the opponent just had the ball, or is about to get the ball;
6. When the opponent sets a pick for someone who has the ball, had the ball or is about to get the ball;
7. When the opponent is simply on the field;
8. When the opponent is on the bench (cue video of the pre-season brawl with the Rock where the Goondits go after Colin Doyle who "stayed" on the bench).

I think we can all agree that the first seven are simply the rules of tough and hard-nosed lacrosse, especially when kept more or less within the whistles and playing surface. Every team in the league follows them, and they look similar to the code of defence expected in any partial or full contact sport.

And the Goondits generally have one of the top defences as a result. Heading into this week's game, they are first in the league, barely ahead of Boston and Toronto. They're also ahead of defensive powerhouses like Calgary, Rochester and Colorado.... Wait! Rochester has the fourth lowest goals against average per game and Colorado has the fifth lowest (both ahead of Calgary)? I guess Rock-castoffs Pat McCready and Scott Campbell are paying off in Rochester! Colorado must have something boring about the Mountain air, because they're also the lowest scoring team in the league. YAWN!

What makes the Goondits different in their adherence to the standard code of defence? A couple of things.
First, they have a lot of trouble keeping their activity to within the whistles, which results in penalties. In fact, if you put the Evans boys and Geoff Snider on Buffalo you'd have every single player in the league that every fan loves to hate for their dirty, whiny, after-the-whistle play. You'd also have one hell of a talented ball team.
Second, the Goondits have their own interpretation of the man-code pertaining to using fisticuffs to solve things. They seem to think it is acceptable to punch someone when:

1. He stands up for himself,
2. He adheres to the Darris Kilgour Lacrosse code and isn't a Goondit (even former Goondits, or teams coached by former Goondits legends, must be punished),
3. He's down (see above brawl video),
4. He's being held by the refs (see brawl video),
5. He's being held by one of your teammates (see brawl video),
6. He's in a dark alley or arena tunnel ... no wait that was Glenn Clark coached lacrosse. Nevermind!

I think every team in the league is grateful that a) the Evans and Snider are not on Buffalo and b) that the Goondits can be goaded into stupid penalties to uphold their various codes.

Now the most common reason emanating from Buffalo as to why they need to be so vindictive is usually that other teams run their goalies. This is nonsense. Complete and utter nonsense. There is a spectrum that varies from going hard to the net to running a goalie. There is a certainly a grey area in the middle where the interpretation depends entirely on your loyalties.

If you ask a Bandits fan the divide is Steenhuis goes hard to the net, every opposing player runs the goalie. If you ask a Rock fan, Rabil ran Whipper in the title game last year for which he should've received not just a major, which he got, but a game misconduct. The "run" (it really was just a hard drive to the net on a stupid angle) put Whipper off his game and was the edge that gave Washington the momentum to go on a run in the fourth quarter (they tried it again this season, to no avail). To a Goondits fan, the Rabilocks run was probably some form of extended retribution for what happened earlier in the season between the Goondits and Rock. They also think Petkoff's recent ACL tear is his just desserts (I think, in addition to loving the dirtiest team in lacrosse, they have a severe case of internet tough-guy syndrome in Buffalo - must be a communicable disease, like Darris Kilgour Lacrosse ... watch out for Kilgour's spittle when he's cursing or you might catch it too).

Cue the video of Petkoff "running" Ken Montour. The volume is excessive, and the replay of the "run" is at 1:28 of the video. What you can see is that Petkoff got the ball over half, and realized he had a lane to the net. As he got closer to the net the lane narrowed and it became stupidly straight at the far post. He put the ball in the net, tried to slow down and veer left to avoid Montour who was moving in the same direction in a delayed attempt to make the save. The result was justified (under last year's interpretation of the rules, which is different than this year's, at least for Cliff Smith "running" Whipper). The goal was waived off and Petkoff got a five and a game misconduct (the latter was for his own good, since he was likely to be skinned alive by 18,000 angry Bandits fans if he didn't get a 1 hour head-start towards the border). However, there is nothing deliberate about it. Petkoff put the ball in the net, which is what he was trying to do, and since he has exactly one career goal (plus this), it's not like he has a lot of experience taking smarter angles to the net (Rabil, on the other hand, should've known better).

What else do we see in the video? Well, we see that Goondits defenders, in this case Billy Dee Smith, can be goaded into taking stupid penalties when they are beat one-on-one by their man, especially if their man gets into the crease. Goondits fans probably think that Smith was responding to the goalie contact, but really it was a point of pride - Smith got beat by his man and had to make sure Petkoff was punished for beating him and putting the ball in the net (see rules one through five and seven of Darris Kilgour Lacrosse above). Smith got two for roughing, and then 5 and a game for spearing Colin Doyle on his way over to the penalty box. The Rock came away with a powerplay.

But that's not all. In the final minute of the game, when it was clear the Goondits weren't going to win, they sent Brandon Francis out to run straight at Chugger. Five and game for him. Fat lot of good a five-minute powerplay does with a second left in the game. I'm actually surprised he wasn't suspended, since this was clearly deliberate.

And, apparently dogpiling a guy after touching your goalie, and then running the other team's goalie is not enough retaliation ... one also has to send an enforcer after the "runner" in the next game. (I'm trying to contain my disdain for the man-code, I really am!)

To the Goondits this is justice, but to every other team in the league it adds up differently. The attempted intimidation by the Goondits will result in an even-up penalty at the time of the incident, a later penalty for deliberately running your goalie, and potentially an instigator penalty and misconduct in the ensuing fight the next game. Sure you get the snot whacked out of you for going hard to the net, but you're going to draw at least 2 minutes in penalties and a game misconduct in this game and the next one if you actually get to the net; if you don't get to the net, you can expect the Bandits to have taken a penalty to prevent it. The Bandits are too good defensively to pass up on the opportunity to get a shot at them on the powerplay.

And that's why I call them the Goondits!