Working Group Leader: Guys, it's 2009 and we've been getting a lot of complaints about how uncomfortable our seats are. Today's meeting is a brainstorming meeting. Throw out every idea you've got, no matter how crazy or costly (okay, not too costly), and we'll come back next week to settle into the most comfortable ideas.
Dude 1: Well at home, I've got this really comfortable recliner. The back goes down, my feet go up. I love watching pay-per-view on that.
Dude 2: Yeah! Have you got cupholders in yours? I've got cupholders in mine!! Oversized so I can fit a convenience store sugar-ice-syrup mega cup.
Dude 3: I don't recommend the plaid patterned ones, very scratchy. I wish I'd bought pleather.
Dude 1: I would totally pay extra for a comfortable chair.
Dude 3: And I have a buddy who is so tall he could play in the NBA, except his back is always sore. I bet he'd like a seat that fits him. We should set the seat height so that my buddy could put his feet comfortably on the floor, and give him enough space so that when he reclines, he's not kicking the man in front of him like a 5 year old kid.
Dude 2: I hate it when kids kick my seat. It's the main reason I'm not having kids, so that I never have to be embarrassed by the little brats kicking the seat in front of him.
Leader: I think we're going a bit off topic here, guys. The idea as I understand it is a giant, pleather, comfy chair that reclines and the feet go up...
Dude 3: ...that's appropriately sized for my 7' buddy...
Leader: ... that is king-sized.
Woman: I worry that people will fall asleep
Dude 1 (talking over woman as she quietly finishes her thought): Yes. So they'll come back to see the movie a second time, because they'll have missed parts of it.
Woman (quietly finishing her thought while Dude 1 talks over her): in these chairs, and that they won't be invested in returning a second time, because they can nap at home for free. Also, I feel like some women, shorter men, and especially children, might need stepping stools to get into these 7' chairs.
Leader: Okay, that's one idea settled. What else have you brilliant chaps got?
Dude 3: Well, it's a long shot, sir, but what if we go the opposite direction?
Leader: Tell me more. Opposite how?
Dude 3: We make the chairs even less comfortable. We still go oversized, naturally, cause my buddy has that bad back.
Dude 1: Maybe the chair could massage your buddy's back, but that doesn't make sense if we're making it less comfortable...
Dude 2: Rollercoaster!!! Those things have uncomfortable seats, but all the motion makes up for it.
Dude 3: And we could probably simulate wind with some fans!
Dude 1: And instead of massaging the nice way, we only leave the punching parts of the massage. We synch that with fight sequences so you really feel it ... and then women and children should be able to stay awake in these seats.
Woman starts weeping for humanity.
Leader: Yes. Sometimes the wind should be misty, like tears. And maybe some perfumed winds too. Really immerse people in the movie experience.
Dude 2: Oh man, people will really pay extra for this! We don't even have to synch it with the movie well or logically or anything.
Leader: Pefect! That's two great ideas settled out. You guys have been great. Weepy Lady, whatever your name is, thanks for making sure these have a feminine touch. If you could get some drawings done, pick out a fabric or two, get the cost analysis done, that'd be great. Tomorrow at 9am should give you enough time. I'm teeing up with the boss at 10am, so don't be late. Everyone else, let's go enjoy a matinee one last time before the new seats arrive and we miss the old ones. Oh, yes, we'll have to start charging extra for nostalgic seating in the theatres we don't feel like upgrading!
Dudes: Can we stop at the convenience and liquor stores on the way so we can stock up on stuff to sneak into our seats with us?
Leader: Of course, and that's another great idea. I'll have to pass it along to the customer experience team - fully licensed in-seat service! That'll be a real money maker!!! We're all going to get raises after I talk to the boss.
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